And does it have to be dinner?
Of course not! Breakfast, lunch, coffee or early evening drinks. I recently went for a hot chocolate with a partner of ours. 10/10.
And who says it must involve food or alcohol?
Sporting events and the golf course have long been substitutes for the business dinner. What else can we add to this list? If the pandemic taught us about the benefits of a walk-and-talk one-on-one, why not make that the activity. I know what you’re thinking: you can’t take 12 people on a walk. Good. That’s the point. I guarantee more ‘real talk’ will be shared in this setting and with a better end result.
Or consider a musical or play. If you catch up while walking to the theater, during intermission, and on your way out of the theater, that is likely enough time to discuss the business issues at hand. And you get to take in some culture!
If it has to be a long dinner, put a personality in charge
Curb Your Enthusiasm fans will recall the episode centered around Larry being a good “middler,” the person who sits in the middle of a big table and has a vital job: keep conversation flowing.
At one especially long business dinner I attended, the “middler” was great and posed to the table the absolute best sports trivia question I’ve ever heard. (Name the nine sports figures that graced the cover of these four magazines: Life, People, Newsweek, Time)
It got everyone talking and working together. Which genuinely kept spirits up and distracted us from the fact that we were going on minute 97 waiting for our salt-encrusted entire bone-in fish—to share, of course.
I have some go-to out-of-left-field questions I’ll ask during lulls. Like name a classic movie you’re embarrassed to admit you’ve never seen. My answer is The Shawshank Redemption. And at this point in my life, I’m not sure I’ll ever watch it since it elicits such a response from people when I disclose that.
I’m hopeful that shorter, curated points of connection (and quesadillas) can lead to talking about—in the words of my sage intern—more “interesting stuff.”
