Jay Shetty Says the Work Is Never Done in Marriages, Even in His Own (Exclusive)

For years, conversations about love have been a central part of Jay Shetty’s work.

With his new podcast Messy Love: Difficult Conversations for Deeper Connection, the 38-year-old life coach is putting his theories to practice by helping real couples navigate the complexities of modern relationships.

Along the journey, Shetty admits that the experience has reinforced the importance of nurturing his own marriage to Radhi Devlukia-Shetty.

“I think what it’s inspired for my own relationship is continuing to remember that the work is never done,” he tells PEOPLE exclusively. 

The couple met in 2013 and tied the knot in April 2016.

While Shetty’s podcast, On Purpose, often explores ideas about love through interviews with celebrities and experts, Messy Love places the former monk directly into the lived experiences of three couples facing challenges in communication, trust and intimacy.

By coaching others, Shetty says he’s been reminded that intimacy is never static. Even long-term partners can have unspoken feelings that remain hidden – and discovering these perspectives can be both surprising and illuminating.

“Whether you’re just starting today, whether you’re just out of a breakup, or whether you’ve been with someone for a while, I think everyone can relate to this idea where you expect your partner knows you and you think you know your partner, but you can still surprise each other with a different layer or level of vulnerability and openness,” he explains.

These insights, Shetty adds, highlight that connection requires ongoing attention and curiosity, rather than assumption.

“I think that’s a really special moment in the series that everyone gets to experience,” he says. “That ‘wait a minute – just because we’ve been together for five years or 10 years, doesn’t mean that we fully know the person and they fully know us.’ ”

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As a result, Shetty believes that communication is pivotal in deepening relationships and truly getting to the root cause of most obstacles.

“One of my favorite tools that I share…really lays out how we can change our communication from being accusing, critical and defensive to being collaborative, connective and deepening love,” he shares.

“We don’t want to have difficult conversations to win. We don’t want to have difficult conversations to boost our ego,” Shetty adds. “We want to do this because we want to deepen our connection.”

For Shetty, this mindset extends far beyond coaching. It has reinforced that — even in his own marriage — meaningful connection requires ongoing commitment.

“Communication and conversation and deepening connection is something you have to do every single day. It’s not something that you get to choose to skip,” Shetty tells PEOPLE.

“If you skip it for a few days or a few weeks or a few months, you’d pay the price in the same way as skipping eating or sleeping for a few days, weeks or months. And so I think you have to look at your relationship as something that requires daily investment and it’s not something that can be ignored or avoided.”

Messy Love: Difficult Conversations for Deeper Connection premiered on Jan. 22, 2026, exclusively from Audible.