In the early stages of dating, or “the talking stage,” it’s important to learn about dating history, relationship type, and love language. But do you know what really tells you about a person? What actually unlocks the soul of your potential match? A food-themed “F***, Marry, Kill” question.
This idea was inspired by the hypothetical questions that we distract ourselves with at the Food & Wine office. We’ll go around in a circle deciding which dessert best describes our personalities and contemplate whether we’d rather give up chocolate or wine, but nothing has ever been quite as contentious as “FMK: spinach, arugula, or kale?”
Surprisingly, something about that question struck a chord with people. Leafy greens are something that we don’t think about too often. We pick our base in the Sweetgreen assembly line and move on or absentmindedly throw a prewashed bag into our shopping cart. But when we dig deeper — when someone gives us the opportunity to really sit with it — we might find that our leafy green of choice is directly related to our identity.
“FMK: spinach, arugula, or kale?” is, without a doubt, my most liked prompt on Hinge.
There are objective pros and cons to each vegetable. Arugula has the most distinct flavor — spicy and pungent — but it’s not entirely versatile. Spinach has a mild flavor that can go virtually undetected in smoothies, but its soft, limp texture falls flat in a salad. Kale has nice crunchy stems and leaves that catch dressing easily, but it can be fibrous and difficult to chew.
So which of those cons can you overlook for the long haul? Which ones are absolute dealbreakers? And which one is worth, well…y’know.
It’s a philosophical question, really.
So, rather than wasting more time at work, I decided to ask that question in a place where the seemingly arbitrary questions I ask can not only lead to success, but can greatly determine the future: my Hinge profile.
“FMK: spinach, arugula, or kale?” is, without a doubt, my most liked prompt on Hinge. I get way more responses on it than my fun facts (my great-grandmother invented the American bra size system), my special skills (ordering the perfect amount of food at a restaurant), and even my thirst traps (all of which are really good).
John, 33
“Arugula is sexy and fun but not very substantial. Kale is difficult and bitter. Spinach is hearty and healthy and versatile. Frankly, it’s the only reasonable answer to this question.”
— John, 33
Instead, all the boys want to tell me which leafy green vegetable they want to take down the aisle, take to bed, or take out. “This is more difficult than it should be,” said Josh, 31.
“F*** arugula, marry kale, kill spinach,” Coleman, 27, messaged me.
Sometimes I interrogate further. I asked John, 33, why he’d like to get intimate with arugula, kill kale, and marry spinach. “Arugula is sexy and fun but not very substantial. Kale is difficult and bitter. Spinach is hearty and healthy and versatile,” he replied. “Frankly, it’s the only reasonable answer to this question.”
Eddie, 29, didn’t even provide a full answer. He simply told me, “Kale is self harm. Awful leaf that should be struck from the earth.”
Besides getting a peek into each individual’s psyche, I’ve also discovered some earth-shattering information about men in general. Mainly, that many men viscerally hate kale. I don’t have any explanation for why that is, but I think it’s a fact.
If you’re on a dating app too, I don’t recommend you copy my prompt word for word — I put a lot of hard work into it and it’d frankly be rude for you to plagiarize — but I encourage you to come up with a food-themed “FMK” of your own to get the conversation going. Here are some suggestions that are very much up for grabs:
- Parsley, dill, basil
- Cookies, cake, pie
- Strawberries, raspberries, blueberries
- Popcorn, potato chips, pretzels
- Snickers, Twix, Kit Kat
No matter the three foods you select, your silly little Hinge prompt might not guarantee love, but it will provide you with entertainment, laughs, and just enough likes.
