NEED TO KNOW
- A woman is questioning if she would be “unreasonable” to ignore a couple’s instructions for wedding guests
- In a post on Mumsnet, she revealed the bride and groom have asked for a donation to their honeymoon rather than gifts
- The online community argued that it isn’t uncommon for couples to ask for financial gifts, as many already live together before tying the knot
A woman is questioning if she would be “unreasonable” to skip out on a specific request that a bride and groom have given their guests.
In a post on the U.K.-based parenting forum Mumsnet, the woman explained her reason for being hesitant to give the couple what they asked for ahead of their nuptials — and asked the community, “What would you do?”
“Need your thoughts,” the woman wrote. “We have been invited to a wedding, but instead of giving a gift the bride and groom have asked for donations to their honeymoon.”
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The Mumsnet user confessed that she has never heard of a couple asking for a donation before — “and it strikes us as being very rude.”
“A wedding gift is usually a gift to help in the setup of their new life together, not to help go on holiday,” she said.
The woman added that she believes the couple’s wedding “sounds as if it is a lavish affair and is going to be costly anyway for guests.”
“Am I being unreasonable to give them a gift that I want to give?” she asked.
After some discussion among the online community, users came to a consensus, sharing that it is common nowadays for couples to ask for donations, either for their honeymoon, to help save up for a home, or other big life expenses, rather than a wedding present.
“It’s very normal, and has been since the majority of people started living together before they got married,” one commenter wrote. “There’s no need for household goods, when you already have them.”
“I’ve never understood this, why is a gift registry OK, but not just money?” another commenter questioned. “Both are mechanisms to make sure gifts are actually something the couple want and will use, to avoid you wasting your money, but registry lists don’t seem to get the hate asking for cash does!”
Others told the original poster that she could still give the couple a physical gift — but it may not be appreciated.
“This is a very standard request these days, especially as most couples have already set up house together before getting married,” another person stated. “You can disregard their request and get them a physical gift, but if you care about the couple and want to maintain a good relationship with them, I would still donate to the honeymoon fund.”
