NEED TO KNOW
- A 34-year-old woman said she was refusing to buy her in-laws with kids Christmas gifts due to her family being on a tighter budget
- But her husband did not agree, saying that he “thinks it’ll come across as cheap”
- Several people suggested that the woman, who had been picking out gifts up to this point, to give the gift-giving duties to her husband and give him a budget for gifts
A woman is refusing to buy her in-laws with kids Christmas gifts in order to not break the bank.
The 34-year-old shared on Reddit’s “Am I the A——?” forum that money was “tighter” this year since she and her husband welcomed their third child, so she wanted to keep gift-giving on the smaller side this year.
The woman — who usually does the Christmas shopping for both her and her husband’s families — said she suggested to her husband to suggest to his brother and sister-in-law that they “want to only do gifts for the kids this year,” but were planning to still give their parents and other siblings gifts as normal. She asked him to tell them “please don’t buy us anything, and we won’t get anything for them.”
However, she said that her husband was not on board with the plan: “My husband doesn’t want to, because he thinks it’ll come across as cheap and that it’s also unfair since we’re buying other siblings gifts.”
Getty
The woman said that she believed that it was “perfectly fair, since they don’t have to get us anything either and the kids still get gifts.” But she said her husband was adamant that they should just get the gifts.
“The trouble is, it always takes such a long time to find things within our budget and having two fewer presents to have to buy would also really help my stress levels and time, as well as financial concerns,” she said.
The woman noted that she has suggested that her husband do “Secret Santa” with his family with “£100 gifts,” but her husband “refuses to suggest it to his family.” She said she’s also considered making it adults only but would feel “bad” since she knows his mother would “still buy us stuff” even if they don’t give them anything.
She also noted that gift exchange doesn’t happen in person with their family, but rather they “do a doorstep present exchange” with their in-laws a few days before Christmas. Then the kids would open the presents on Christmas.
She then asked for advice on what she should do in the situation. One person noted in the comments that the woman shouldn’t have the pressure of gift-giving all on her own shoulders.
“Hand back this responsibility. He is now in charge of gifts for his side of the family, you are in charge of gifts for your own. Do not budge on this. I’m serious,” they suggested.
Getty
Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE’s free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.
Another person suggested that the wife give her husband a “strict budget,” adding that she should “not let him go over and do not accept anything that does go over.” They continued, “any present that is not affordable must be immediately returned. Do not let him just look like the great guy for getting his family expensive stuff that you can’t afford.”
A second person agreed, writing, “Hand this portion of the shopping off to him is a nice way to remove the burden from yourself & it lets him fulfill his [obligation].”
